Planning your funeral: the benefits of a Statement of Wishes

Planning your funeral: the benefits of a Statement of Wishes

by Mojda Hashemyan2025-02-130

Planning for the end of one’s life may not be an easy undertaking, but it is an act of foresight and care that can spare your loved ones from making difficult decisions during their time of grief. Traditionally, many people have focused on prepaid funeral plans as a way to relieve their families of the financial burden that comes with organising a funeral. Yet, there is an alternative option growing in popularity that provides even greater flexibility and personalisation: a Statement of Wishes for funeral arrangements.

A Statement of Wishes is a non-legally binding document that details your funeral preferences. It allows you to specify how you wish to be commemorated, without the need to pay for these arrangements in advance. In this article, we will explore the key benefits of having a Statement of Wishes in place—focusing on the emotional and practical advantages—along with why it may suit your needs better than traditional prepaid funeral plans. Ultimately, it is about ensuring a beautiful and meaningful send-off that truly reflects your life and values.

Understanding a Statement of Wishes

A Statement of Wishes is not a will, nor is it a legal contract with a funeral provider. Instead, it is a flexible, personalised document that guides your family, friends, or executors on the funeral choices you make in advance From the type of ceremony to the choice of music, and whether you prefer burial or cremation, you can include as much detail as you like. While it does not carry legal force, it is a clear expression of your desires, making it far easier for those left behind to honour you in the way you intended.

1. No Need to Tie Up Your Money

One of the most significant benefits of a Statement of Wishes is that it does not require you to invest funds upfront. Unlike prepaid funeral plans, which involve paying for your funeral in advance (sometimes years before it takes place), a Statement of Wishes simply outlines your preferences without necessitating financial commitment. There are several reasons why not tying up your money can be advantageous:

Flexibility in Your Finances:

By not locking your money into a prepaid plan, you retain financial control. Your funds remain available for other priorities during your lifetime, whether that is covering unexpected expenses, enjoying your retirement, or helping family members who may need support. A Statement of Wishes recognises that circumstances and financial situations can evolve over time, and there is no pressure to commit money that might be needed elsewhere.

Avoiding Market Fluctuations or Hidden Costs:

Prepaid funeral plans can sometimes result in individuals paying more than necessary for their future funeral, as rising fees and other risks have to be factored in from the outset. Additionally, these plans are not always clear on what is or isn’t included, which may lead to family members facing unexpected additional costs at the time of need.

Personal and Family Financial Stability:

At times, people opt for a prepaid funeral plan hoping to shield their family from expenses. However, in some cases, tying money up in a prepaid plan may not always be the best use of resources. A Statement of Wishes ensures that your family members can honour your requests without the constraints of a fixed plan. If someone in the family later has the means to contribute, or if there are changes in your estate that would cover the costs naturally, the Statement of Wishes leaves room for these possibilities without having made a premature financial commitment.

2. Complete Freedom to be Detailed

A Statement of Wishes allows you to be exceptionally detailed about every aspect of your funeral. Whereas a prepaid funeral plan might outline costs and general services, it often lacks the nuanced detail and personal touches that can make a funeral truly meaningful. By using a Statement of Wishes, you can delve into specifics that matter to you:

Personalised Venue and Format:

Perhaps you envision your funeral outdoors under a favourite old oak tree, or you would prefer a humanist ceremony in a local hall that holds special meaning. A Statement of Wishes gives you the freedom to specify the exact setting, ensuring that the environment reflects your personality and life story.

Choosing Music, Readings, and Rituals:

Music can stir deep memories and emotions, and the right readings can encapsulate what mattered most to you. From a favourite hymn to a beloved pop song, or a poem that captures the essence of your life, you can detail exactly what you would like included. In a Statement of Wishes, you can list specific tracks or readings, dictate the tone of the service, and even propose who might perform these elements.

Cultural and Spiritual Considerations:

If you have particular cultural or religious traditions or wish to incorporate a unique blend of spiritual customs, a Statement of Wishes ensures that no detail is overlooked. It can reflect complex beliefs that might not be easily communicated by a standard funeral plan. Whether you prefer a religious leader of a certain faith, a secular celebrant, or a friend or family member to lead proceedings, you can highlight these preferences clearly.

Dress Code or Themes:

Some may want a joyous celebration where attendees wear bright colours rather than the traditional black. Others might desire a theme that reflects a lifelong passion—such as a love of gardening, travelling, or a favourite sports team. The Statement of Wishes lets you set the tone, encouraging your loved ones to remember you in a way that feels both authentic and uplifting.

3. The Ability to Update Your Wishes Easily

Life is changeable, and so are our preferences. As years pass, you might develop new interests, change your spiritual views, or simply decide you would like a different approach to your funeral. The advantage of a Statement of Wishes is that it can be revised at any time, ensuring that the document always reflects your current desires.

No Locked-In Arrangements:

With a prepaid funeral plan, making changes can be more complicated and may incur additional costs. You might have signed up for certain services or packages that now feel outdated or no longer appropriate. In contrast, a Statement of Wishes is a dynamic document. All you need to do is review it, make amendments, and share the updated version with your executors or close family members.

Adapting to Changing Circumstances:

Perhaps you become aware of new, environmentally friendly funeral options such as natural burials or biodegradable urns. You might also decide you want to donate your body to medical science, or opt for a direct cremation followed by a memorial service at a later date. The Statement of Wishes can be modified to accommodate these evolving considerations without any financial penalty or administrative burden.

4. It’s About a Beautiful Send-Off, Not the Money

While financial aspects are often a significant concern, a Statement of Wishes prioritises the essence of what a funeral is truly about: a meaningful, loving send-off that honours your life. Rather than focusing on cost structures, payment plans, or the formalities of contracts, a Statement of Wishes puts the spotlight on creating a final farewell that resonates with your identity and legacy.

Emotional Relief for Loved Ones:

When the time comes, your family and friends will be grieving your loss. Having a Statement of Wishes can spare them from agonising over what you might have wanted. Instead, they can follow your guidance, knowing that they are making choices you would have supported. This helps foster peace of mind during a painful time and can reduce disagreements or confusion among those left behind.

A Tailored Tribute:

A beautiful funeral is one that reflects your uniqueness. It is a celebration of your life’s journey, values, passions, and achievements. By putting these details in writing, you ensure that the service will not be a generic event, but rather something genuinely special. Your loved ones will appreciate the personal touches and know that they are giving you the send-off you truly desired.

Preserving Your Voice:

A funeral is often about stories—stories of love, friendship, and impact. By detailing your wishes, you maintain a presence in the planning of your farewell. Your voice guides the event, ensuring that it honours not only your memory, but also your perspective. This can offer comfort to those who attend, as they will sense your influence, understanding that you played a role in shaping your final goodbye.

Statement of Wishes

A Statement of Wishes for funeral arrangements is a powerful and flexible tool that offers numerous benefits. It frees you from committing financial resources upfront, allowing you to manage your finances and adapt to changing economic conditions. It encourages an unparalleled level of detail, making it possible to create a truly personalised farewell. It also remains open to revision, ensuring your funeral plans can evolve with your shifting preferences, beliefs, and life circumstances.

Ultimately, a Statement of Wishes places emphasis on what truly matters at the end: the sentiment, the authenticity, and the love expressed during your send-off. Instead of prioritising costs and contracts, it prioritises meaning, beauty, and personal resonance. With a Statement of Wishes, you can give yourself and your loved ones the gift of clarity and comfort. You can leave behind a legacy of thoughtfulness and care, ensuring your final chapter is a heartfelt reflection of a life well lived.

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